The Fan Club Blues

Let's reminisce. First, I'm going to pretend that we are all the same age, which means you remember how your mother cried when President Kennedy was shot, you had a shoop-shoop hula hoop, you watched men walk on the moon and you know the words to all the songs the Monkees sang. Oh, and you remember when David Cassidy was . . . , well *sigh*, you know.

And if you remember that, you remember the teen fan mags. And how you could send your dues in to the fan club of your choice. And you could write fan letters. Did you ever write a letter to your secret crush? You don't have to answer that. It's the next part that is important.

Did the object of your adoration write back? The good manners that our mothers taught us back then dictated some sort of reply. Emily Post said so.

And I hear you asking, "T! Why on earth are you writing about the '60s? Did you get lost in a time warp?? Are you having Partridge Family bus flashbacks?" Nope, nope, nope. Look back up there at the part that is important.

Several months ago I sent an email to a fellow beadwork artist. I told her how I have admired her work for several years. I also told her that she was a big inspiration to me when I decided to apply to art shows. And I told her that it was her work that made me realize that I can be well paid for the pieces that I create. I also asked her a few questions about her experiences with art shows. I figured that since she is 1,000 miles away she wouldn't feel threatened by any sort of competition, even if she considered me in her league of talent. Do you know she never replied?? This is a professional, who has been published in Beadwork Magazine, who wins awards at art shows, has pieces in museums and galleries, yet she did not have the good grace to send back a reply. How rude! Even if the reply was "go blow it out your ass" there should have been something, right? Don't get me wrong, I didn't expect her to spill all her secrets, but the questions I asked were not along the lines of "I'm thinking of doing this, too. Can you tell me how to get started?" (and those of you who know me well, also know how much I detest that line of questioning). I had already gotten started, I had already had several large sales. I just asked a couple of questions along the lines of categorization of the art form. Again, how rude of her not to answer!

So, I promise, if you ask me questions like that, I will respond, even if it is to tell you to go blow it out your ass. However (BIG HOWEVER), if you come to me and ask "I've been thinking of doing the same thing. Can you tell me how to get started?", I will hunt you down like the mangy cur that you are. I will spill and mix all your beads, I will tangle your beading thread, and I will bend all of your beading needles. And then I will make a bonfire of all your beading magazines and books. Are we clear? Good. Have a nice day.